A mighty bug

They stood near the costume shop on Grand Boulevard.

He with a nose ring; she tattoos.  Then she slammed her fist into his shoulder.

“Slug bug silver!”  I could see her say.

Just a day earlier, I turned a sharp left, just ahead of my office parking lot.  There the woman, waiting at the bus stop, shot her fist into her guy-friend standing near.

Couldn’t tell what she shouted, though I could see he wasn’t happy.

I own a VW bug.  It’s a 2002 model – the “New Beetle,” says VW – and it’s a turbo.  They stopped making turbos after 2002 because they’re kind of dangerous. They go fast before you know they’re going fast.  I’ve always felt my car was superior over even the mighty semi trucks. Thus the photo taken a few years back on Route 66.  Sure, they’re big.  But my car?  Nimbler, quicker. 

Better. 

I love my car. Yet, I had forgotten completely about the “slug bug” shtick until a colleague of mine, following a recent lunch, emerged from my bug and whacked me in the shoulder.

“Slug bug gray!” he said.

Wha …?  Beyond the pain, I didn’t know what to say, though it eventually came back to me.  I remembered. I just hadn’t been paying attention.

Ever since, I’ve seen folks wailing away on each other as I drive by.  It’s like the waters parting. On either side of the street, folks glance my way, turn to the unprepared victim, then hit and shout.  Or shout and hit.  It varies.

I think they’re motivated in part by the new media campaign from VW that’s attempting to resurrect the slug-bug game but apply it to its newer models.

Check out the commercial that played on the Super Bowl telecast.

Ha! Love the ending with Stevie Wonder.

Retro marketing has had its effect, it seems.

There are varied versions of the game.  Folks on the East Coast tend to call it “Punch Buggy” and not “Slug Bug” like the rest of the country.

And the new VW commercial relies on “Red one!” or “White one!” ...  then the hit. Historically, though, “Slug bug red!” or “Slug bug white!” is more common and preferred. 

Plus you always want to add “No returns!” or “No backsies!” to make sure your partner doesn’t whack you back.

Now, I’ve always felt my bug was a powerful force in the universe precisely because of its universality.  It’s been one of the world’s most popular cars.

But it has its critics.

My kids scoffed at me when I bought the New Beetle … Zach thought I should opt for a Chrysler 300.  (Too smooth for me.)  Meghan just wanted me in something a bit more, uh, fatherly, I think.

Or maybe it was the guy thing.  After all, the bug has fought against the “wimp” title for years.  Car and Driver magazine calls driving one “the truest test of masculinity,” though it still likes the car.  And sure, what other car has a flower vase built into its dashboard?  (I’ve used it once – for some spring wildflowers picked by Meghan.)

But bugs and I go way back.  I took over my dad’s red 1968 Beetle when he moved up to a Super Beetle.

That car was such a simple machine.  So simple I could do my own repairs.  But it had its limits – not much more than a glorified go kart.  No air conditioning, of course. The heat barely worked.  And once in college I had to drive home in an Illinois snowstorm with my head out the window. The windshield wipers had stopped working, though it was okay; traffic was crawling at 10 miles an hour anyway. 

Oh … and then there was that whole semester in ’77 – kids, don’t read this – when I drove without brakes.  It’s amazing what you can do by working the gear shift and parking brake. 

But it was a good car, a sturdy car.

Eventually, the red bug gave out and I took over Dad’s blue Super Beetle when he moved up to a new VW Rabbit.  This bug had a sunroof and more room inside.  

But I don’t recall folks slamming each other on the shoulder the way they do now.  At least not in these numbers. So maybe today it’s a nostalgia thing.  Maybe in this age of YouTube and social networking, offbeat consumer habits become the norm and everyone just wants to have fun joining in.

My own theory?  VW announced that this year would be the last for the New Beetle.  What they’re selling now are “Final Edition” models.  It’s not clear whether the Beetle name will survive; we should know more in a year or so.

So I’m guessing this ripple of shoulder-thumping is cosmic. I think the hundreds of thousands of remaining Beetles out there are sending waves of energy through not just VW corporate headquarters but the broader populace as well.

Not a power play. Just a desperate call for help … to be remembered and to make sure the model lives on.

So I apologize for the pain caused when I get behind the wheel.  But there’s not much I can do about it. All cosmic.

Whatever the case, no backsies.