Struggle is perfect

I am a river,  forever changing.

Struggle is perfect.  All that is here is for good.

- Adrienne Young, "Room to Grow."

I remember getting the news. I was at my computer at work, and Cindy called. Bruce, a good friend, just learned he had a rare form of cancer. So rare that only a half dozen on the planet had battled it. And the survival rate?  

Well, not so good.

I teared up. Not a break-down sob kind of cry. But a few tears of anger, really. It's a cliche that only the good die young. But there's truth there. I remember thinking, as I got the news, that it just wasn't fair. Not Bruce.

You see, Bruce is the kind of father to his children that all fathers should be -- loving, loyal, a mentor.  And he's the ultimate husband to his wife, Sue. Underlying both roles is his faith, which is, indeed, solid like the biblical Peter the Rock. 

He's one of those quiet Nebraskans, raised on a farm, who knows how the basics of the world need to work for society to be fair, just and, well, a darn good place within which to live.

Oh ... he's also a real nice guy.

So how come a young (52 years old) highly conditioned (bike rider) Hallmark guy has to face literally the struggle of his life ... confront an extreme form of leukemia that baffled, at least for a short bit, even those at the University of Kansas Med Center? 

I certainly don't know.  But I think folk singer Adrienne Young has it right. The struggles of life aren't to be ignored, or wished away. In Bruce's case, that would have meant certain death. 

No, such struggles are to be confronted, challenged, even embraced. 

Easy for me to say, I know.  Bruce's journey through chemo, radiation treatments, stem cell exchanges, intense and boring isolation from work, friends and even family while his immune system recovered, was a struggle that I can only imagine.  

For the good?  Hmm ... I don't know.  Bruce must decide that ... and perhaps he has.

I know what it has done, though.  It's brought Bruce even closer to his God.  You could see it in his blog comments as he went through treatment.  You could see the lessons he'd learned over his years of study and introspection, and see how they were tightly focused and applied to this situation, at this time.

Listen to Bruce ... it's Jan. 4th, a Sunday.  Bruce is back home, though isolated, following a successful stem cell exchange.

"All is good here in recovery land. I am growing stronger and slowly building endurance. Most days, I ride our stationary bike, lift some weights and stretch. With the nice weather my wife and I have been outside walking. But, it is frustrating. The more I do, the more I want to do and the more I realize that I cannot do.

"As much as I try, my recovery will not be on my terms, but rather it will be on God’s terms. It will not occur on my time table, but on God’s time table. Does this mean that I quit working out, quit riding the bike or walking? Of course not. It means that I need to humble myself and celebrate what I can do instead of frustrating myself with what I cannot do."

Personally I think it’s during intense struggle that you're often closest to your deity, whoever or whatever that is. Because it's then that you find clarity -- realize your limits, your strengths, and what's most important in life. You find Truth, with a capital "T."

There's a lot of Truth in Bruce's blog. 

A couple of weeks ago, we joined Bruce and Sue and some other friends around their dinner table.  It was Bruce's birthday. Bruce is now, according to the doctors, cancer-free.  "We have a cure," was the text message from Sue when they got the good news from doctors.  

There was some wine, really good pork chops that Bruce cooked outside, Sue's potatoes, plus a birthday cake. All normal stuff, really. And there was much story- swapping about our kids' antics and other slices of life. 

But the night was different ... more finely tuned.  A night of celebration and relief, sure, but also of knowledge gained by all around the table who had watched Bruce and his family endure an incredible six-month test.  

The struggle?  Pretty much over.

Perfect.